About Answers

It so happened that while struggling with the issues from the previous post, with staying in the present moment, with being aware, etc., etc. I started a new universal energy seminar.

And next morning I saw it.

I saw the correlation between my subconscious and my waking mind.

I saw how my subconscious freely flows in my waking life and how it colours it without my slightest knowledge.

So much for reality and for letting go of the past.

In short, I understood that living my waking life in the present is a piece of cake. It is my subconscious that is really making it difficult. It is so very deeply rooted that even in the face of reality where there is no evidence whatsoever that my subconscious scenario will unfold, I still experience the emotions that that particular scenario evokes. And it's nearly impossible to convince myself that this is not reality but just a past memory. The truth is that it feels deeper than that and that, well, deepens the dificulty. It almost feels like it's from past lives or dimensions.

In conclusion, I found out that that my subconscious is very powerful or, at least, I have a powerful connection with it, which blocks or sabotages my attempts at arriving in the present.

I found out that this is the reason why it was never a solution for me to pinpoint that this particular emotion comes from that particular childhood experience and that's that.

This also explained why my waking mind is so powerful -- it tries to keep the subconscious at bay.

Of course I'm just beginning to realize the implications of all of this.

What's real, really?

For the past year or so I've been learning that my thoughts, opinions, feelings and memories are conditioned, ie coloured by my past experiences and therefore, NOT reality. Oh, they are very real nonetheless, because they exist in my mind and are constantly projected onto my present. This is what's called my subjective reality. But they are not real in the sense they do not arise out of the present moment, which is the only real reality.

It reminds me of Harry Potter's death experience in the last chapters of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. He asked Dumbledore 'Is this real or is it happening inside my head? Of course, it's happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean it's not real?' (quoted from memory). So there you have it -- it was real to him.

In recent times I've come at the crossroads of reality -- what's real, really? The stuff that I feel in my body and think in my head or the stuff that's right in front of my eyes and that I know does not cause any of my thoughts or feelings. Knowing, however, is very different from awareness.

And I knew that, but still, I remained at that crossroads. I also knew that all suffering in the present was caused by negative past experiences and yet, fear and insecurity was building up somewhere inside me. I knew I had to release them and yet, I was struggling with that, too. I couldn't let go and that depressed me so I started asking myself two questions:

Which reality is real? External or internal, mind-made or heart-based?

Why I couldn't let go? Was it that I loved my past so much I couldn't bear to miss it or was there something else?

It's been said time and again that if you ask the right questions, the answers are there, too.

And it's true.

Seasonal Greetings

HAPPY HOLIDAYS !!!

Be the Change

Live Interview on the Channel "2012 and beyond" with Kiesha Crowther "Little
Grandmother", Shaman Wisdom Keeper. In a very powerful and moving interview she
reveals her opinions and feelings on subjects like 2012, changes on earth, love,
oneness, gratitude, indigo and crystal children, nutrition, angels, crystal
planting, power places and more.

Very powerful.

I was feeling pretty ignorant at several points -- there's so much we don't know.

Being the sceptic that I am, however, it so happens that I hear similar messages from several sources (this being one of them), so I cannot help but feel that there's much truth in them.

There are always difficult times

In the journey of consciousness, there are inevitably times of difficulty and confusion. Often we make ourselves really wrong at those times. We beat ourselves up because we think we should already have it all together. What we don't understand is that every time we move to a deeper level of understanding, there's a period of confusion. Often painful or scary emotions come up at those times. [blogger's note: I can personally testify to the truth of the above] But each difficult time is rewarded by a real expansion and deepening of awareness. [blogger's note: I can almost testify to that, too] As we learn that this is a continuing process and stop expecting complete understanding at all times, it becomes easier and easier to get through those times of confusion. [blogger's note: Sorry, not there yet:)]

http://www.shaktigawain.com/

Question of the day

What would bring you pleasure today?

P.S. I told you I was reading the Eat, Pray, Love book.
For full reference see p. 66 of the said book, 2010 paperback edition :)

Eat Pray Love (The Movie)

To keep it short: loved it!
It inspired me to buy the book.
Sooo, I'm reading it and it's great so far.
Will post thoughts & feelings on it soon.